Living Through the Pain
by TheLittlePlaidMaid
Summary: What if Dean hadn't survived The Battle of Hogwarts. Seamus grieves and tries to overcome the loss with help from Neville and friends. Lots of tears. Mainly Deamus centered but some Neville/Hannah, and Seamus/Neville Friendship. I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters
1. Getting Ready

**Song Suggestion- Futile Devices by Sufjan Stevens.**

 **I'm Looking for a Beta Reader, so if you are interested please message me.**

 **I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters**

 **Author's note- When people call Seamus, Sea it's pronounced how it looks and when someone (usually Dean) calls him Shay it is also pronounced how it looks and will be used mostly in flashbacks for reasons that will be revealed in later chapters.**

 **I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, reviews, comments, and concerns are deeply appreciated.**

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It had been a rough two weeks but the day Seamus had been dreading finally came, the day of the memorial, the day Seamus finally forced himself to change out of the ratty t-shirt he had been wearing since that day…. his last day. Seamus shook his head, _now is not the time to grieve,_ he thought angrily as his vision blurred, wiping away the tears Seamus stood in his room buttoning up his nicest dress shirt as the early morning sunshine turned into golden afternoon rays on the bedroom wall.

Seamus spun around when he heard a soft knock, as the door slowly swung open; his heart skipped a beat hoping that maybe just maybe it would be him, the tall, skinny, black boy he had been in love with since third year. "Neville what are Yer doin' 'ere?" Seamus croaked his voice husky and rough from disuse.

"I came to check up on you" the sandy-haired boy murmured his eyes clouded with grief and worry as he stood in the doorway.

"Well Oi'm fine" Seamus spat sitting on the bed that hadn't been slept in since Neville had forced him, a week after the so-called 'victory'.

Neville's gaze softened, he knew Seamus had taken Dean's death badly but he hadn't realized how bad until he saw the anger in Seamus's eyes, sighing softly Neville entered the bedroom. "You don't have to go you know it's just a ceremony the….." Neville trailed off as Seamus shot him a look.

"Oi know de funeral is on Friday, but dis is just as important 'tis ter remember everyone who died fighting at the Battle of Hogwarts, Colin, Professor Lupin….. Dean." Seamus's voice cracked at the last name and fresh tears formed as he buried his head in his hands.

"I know, I know, I miss him too" Neville sighed as he joined the sobbing Irishman on the unmade bed, laying a hand on a shaking shoulder.

"Oi…. Oi don't tink Oi can do dis" Seamus whispered hoarsely his body tensed at the sudden touch, taking a long shuddering breath his muscles relaxed before breaking into another fit of sobs.

"Sea if you can defy the Carrows you can definitely put on trousers" Neville joked forcing a smile as he gave Seamus a gentle push.

"Oi didn't mean going ter de memorial… Oi meant livin' in general Oi can't stand de thought av livin' without him" Seamus croaked tears still streaming down his cheeks as he tried to calm himself down. Tearing himself away from Neville, Seamus slowly rose from the bed and made his way to the bathroom to finish changing.

"Well Seamus, I just want you to know I'm here for you anytime anywhere, and Luna is expecting to hear from you soon, she's worried about you" Neville called from the bedroom

"Ah so did Yer finally tell 'er aboyt how Yer feel?" Seamus asked a small smile danced across his lips as he pressed a dry towel to his newly washed face. Although he knew Neville had no interest in the Loony DA attendee it was still fun to tease him about it.

Neville gave a half laugh "as if…. You know I'm not interested in anyone" Neville lied thinking about the beautiful blonde woman waiting downstairs talking to Mrs. Finnigan.

Seamus walked out of the bathroom his tie hanging around his neck, "Nev please Oi was only jokin' Oi know al' aboyt Hannah, Yer two were inseparable last year an' she nearly kissed Yer ter death when she finally foun' Yer after de war." Seamus said remembering the moment fondly. It was the last time he had felt truly happy since the end of the war before he found out what the cost of war was.

Neville blushed before walking over to Seamus, fixing Seamus's tie Neville gave the small Irishman a tight hug "It's going to be alright, Sea and if you ever need to get out of here you can always crash at my place."

Seamus looked up at the slightly taller boy his eyes glimmering with fresh tears, "T'anks mate dat means a lot" Seamus breathed giving Neville a tight squeeze

"Boys we got to go, the Portkey will be leaving soon and Luna will have my skin if we aren't on time" Hannah Abbott shouted from downstairs. The sudden sound broke the silence and the two boys sprang apart, giving each other a final nod the two boys made their way downstairs.


	2. The Memorial

**Song Suggestion- Horizon-Aldous Harding, although anything sad will do.**

 **I'm still looking for a beta-reader, so message me if you are interested.**

 **I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.**

 **Hope you guys enjoy this chapter, reviews, comments, and concerns are always deeply appreciated.**

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Seamus gazed up at the huge castle; its cathedral-like interior sent shivers down his spine. "Yer ready Little One?" his mother asked putting a warm but firm hand on his shoulder. Seamus nodded finding comfort in the old pet name as his mother steered him inside the school.

Choosing four seats near the back, Seamus paused and let Neville and Hannah scoot past him before taking his seat between his mother and the aisle. Seamus watched the couple as they sat down holding each other's hand tightly as if the memories of what happened here only a few weeks ago would break them apart.

Looking away Seamus kept an eye on the huge metal doors knowing if they were to close he would have to get out, his stomach churned at the thought of being trapped yet again in the place he once called home.

As Seamus's eyes grew accustomed to the dimly lit Great Hall Seamus noticed that the once vibrant ceiling was now gray and gloomy mirroring the unusual spring afternoon. Shifting his gaze to the front Seamus wondered how he could have ever been happy here. How just a couple of years ago before the war tore everything apart he had sat in the same dining hall, eating, laughing, and secretly loving his best friend.

The old dining hall went silent as Professor McGonagall walked down the aisle her once steely demeanor had softened and Seamus could see the pain etched on her face as she passed. Reaching the front of the room she stepped behind the podium and the memorial began.

Throughout the ceremony people spoke of departed loved ones and moving past the grief, how it was important to celebrate the freedom they died for and to not to live in the past. Looking at his feet Seamus tried to ignore the pain and anger he felt in the pit of his stomach wondering if the pain of losing his best friend would ever disappear.

Suddenly all of the emotions Seamus thought he had suppressed surfaced, excusing himself he fled outside running across the courtyard, his heart still racing as he leaned against a pillar. Taking a deep breath Seamus checked his trouser pocket, where he found it, the small box Dean had painted for him, the goodbye present. With a shaky hand, Seamus pulled out the box, rubbing his thumb against the smooth painted wood he slid open the top and took out a cigarette.

Seamus lit the white tube of nicotine and tar with his wand before putting the cigarette to his chapped lips inhaling deeply, he thought about before Dean had died the small red and yellow painted box had contained beautiful stones, the two boys had spent hours collecting as they ran around the Irish countryside during the many summers they had spent together. Now the box contained 'Cancer Sticks' as Dean called them; this was Seamus's first since he had to say goodbye to Dean when he left to escape the Ministry and the horrible Muggleborn Registry. That boy had been the reason Seamus had quit in the first place and now he was gone… Seamus exhaled softly watching the trail of smoke dissipate before taking another long drag as he remembered the cigarette he had thought was going to be his last.

" _Shay can you just stop for a second, please I'm trying to tell you something important" Dean growled softly as Seamus watched him from his perch on the window sill._

 _"_ _Go ahead Oi'm listenin' " Seamus laughed as he attempted to blow smoke rings out the open window, warm summer sunlight basked the Irishman's bedroom in bright rays._

 _"_ _Shay, I'm leaving," Dean said quietly as he watched the dopey Irishman, his voice hollow and dull like the sound of raindrops falling into an empty watering can._

 _Seamus dropped the burning stick of ash and tar cursing he quickly extinguished it, before tossing it out the window, shocked. "What do Yer mean, Yer leavin', Yer just got 'ere" Seamus exclaimed leaping to his feet._

 _"_ _Seamus I'm sorry but I have to, it's too dangerous to go back to school, with the Ministry hunting for Muggleborns and the registry I'm lucky I got my family to go into hiding before they came looking for me" Dean murmured looking at his feet tears dripping silently onto his boots._

 _Seamus bit his tongue although he wanted to argue and suggest Dean stay with him, Seamus knew Dean leaving was for the best. Even though the thought of losing his best friend hurt more than a Blast-Ended Skrewt burn, he knew that he had to stay strong for Dean._

 _Sighing loudly Seamus blinked away tears, although he was usually the one people called the emotional, Dean still had his moments of weakness which he allowed a select few to see. Seamus walked across the room to the crying man, taking Dean by the wrist he pulled him into a tight hug. "When do Yer leave," Seamus asked quietly as Dean wrapped his strong arms around him..._

 _"_ _Today I can't take any chances" Dean mumbled resting his chin on the top of Seamus's dirty blonde hair Seamus whimpered and held him closer never wanting to let go of the one person who meant the most….._

 _"_ You know those things will kill you" Seamus blinked the sudden sound jolting him from the painful memory, Seamus turned around expecting to see his mother or Neville but instead a one-eared ginger stood propped up against a column. George gave a weary smile "Can I bum one?" he asked his eyes giving away the sadness that Seamus knew mirrored his own.

"Sure **,** but shouldn't Yer be inside?" Seamus asked raising an eyebrow as he handed George a cigarette. Taking out another for himself Seamus let go of the old one and crushed it with his foot, using his wand Seamus destroyed what was left and lit his second of the day.

George snorted "I could say the same thing about you," he said humorlessly. Seamus only nodded before looking back toward the Great Hall, as voices from within echoed throughout the courtyard.

As they smoked Seamus looked around, the castle looked almost the same as it did before the war, aside from the obelisk, honoring the fallen, in the courtyard and the undeniable dark cloud that still hung over the school. It was hard to believe that it had only been two weeks since the war ended. Two weeks since the destruction of not only Seamus's entire world but also of the man's who stood before him.

Seamus studied George as he smoked, Seamus knew he was in bad shape having only slept five hours in as many days, but George seemed considerably worse off, his eyes were puffy and the mischievous glint that always signaled trouble had been replaced with a glassy haunted stare.

"Seamus Malachi Finnigan what de 'ell do Yer tink Yer doin'!" Seamus cursed and slowly turned around as his mother stormed over to the two boys. George thinking quickly swiped the incriminating evidence from Seamus's hand and tossed both of the burning wads of paper out into the courtyard.

"Hello Mrs. Finnigan" George mumbled staring at his shoes as the short, blonde haired, Irish, Witch passed him by, heading straight for her son.

"Mum…. Oi…. Um….We were just talkin' " Seamus stammered turning a bright red as he tried to think of an excuse.

Mrs. Finnigan took a deep breath, although it hurt that her son had turned back to the bad habit that he had tried so hard to quit, she knew it was part of his healing process. "Seamus 'tis nearly time ter go," she said softly trying to stay strong for his sake.

Seamus had never seen his mother like this, his usually smiling mother now looked almost as bad as Seamus, puffy eyed, mouth puckered in an attempt to keep from crying, he hadn't realized how hard Dean's death had been on her. "Alright Oi'm comin'" he sighed as his mother put a firm hand on his shoulder and led him toward the steady stream of people already exiting the Castle.


	3. THe Funeral

**Suggested Song- Berlin by RY X (but anything slow paced and sad would do fine)**

 **Sorry for such a short chapter but that's how it is**

 **The next chapter is fully Deamus, written and ready and will be posted soon**

 **Still looking for a Beta Reader**

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The funeral was considerably worse than Seamus thought possible, it was a small affair Dean's family was there his three sisters sat quietly in the front row dressed in matching black dresses next to his mother and Dean's step-father. Most of Dumbledore's Army had come too; Seamus wasn't surprised by this and although this was the first funeral he had gone to, he had heard that Neville and Harry had been present at most of the others honoring the fallen soldiers of Dumbledore's Army.

Seamus sighed as big fat teardrops splattered onto his dark suit, it had been like this all day, no matter how hard he tried he couldn't stop crying which if it weren't for the sidelong glances from Dean's extended family would have been fine. Except his thoughts would wander to when he had first arrived at the small outside funeral on the hill, how almost immediately Mrs. Thomas was by his side hugging him tightly just as Dean used to, which made Seamus ache for those dark powerful arms that had made him feel so safe in times of uncertainty. Glancing at Dean's sobbing mother he wondered if she knew if Dean had told her about the two of them before he left. Seamus closed his eyes it didn't matter now, with Dean gone, nobody needed to know about the love they shared it was a secret that Seamus would take to the grave.

The tears subsided once Seamus stepped up to the podium to say some words about his dearly departed. Taking a deep breath Seamus slipped the tear-stained flashcards out of his pocket, "Dean was an' alwus 'ill be me best mate" Seamus paused glancing at the white cards trying to fight back the tears "… Dean 'ad a way aboyt him dat made everyone feel like they meant somethin', dat they could make a difference, an' even though a war raged outside he still looked on de bright side av things." Seamus sighed and looked at the gleaming amber colored box where his best friend laid "But Dean was no fool he knew de risks an' even though he didn't 'av a wand dat night he fought bravely for what he believed in til de very end."

Seamus gave a nod ending his speech and left the podium pocketing the note cards. I love you Seamus thought as he laid a heavy hand on the coffin lid before returning to his mother in the second row.

Joining his mother Seamus sat down glad to finally be done with the speech that he had spent days working on, "Dat was very nice, good job" his mother whispered putting a comforting arm around her son. As the funeral went on Seamus knew he should feel something, grief, anger, or even just a tad relieved that Dean hadn't had to make the same speech, but all Seamus felt was empty he didn't feel anything when Dean's mother spoke or when her eldest daughter who was barely 14 had to be led away from the podium when the tears made it impossible for her to speak. Seamus didn't even look up when he heard his name called when Luna Lovegood retold the story of the time she and Dean spent together at Shell Cottage.

When the muggle side of Dean's family finally left the cemetery, Seamus made his way to the coffin where people had left roses and lilies. With a shaky hand Seamus took out his wand and conjured a single Fire Orchid, Dean's favorite, placing it gently on the light amber colored wood he kissed the lid and whispered "Oi love Yer, now an' Oi alwus 'ill" a phrase that Dean repeatedly said to him after Seamus admitted his feelings for the dark haired boy. At last Seamus took a deep breath turning around he made his way down the hill to where his mother stood at the bottom waiting for him.


	4. First Kiss

**Song Suggestion- Myth by Beach House**

 **It's finally time for some actual Deamus yay. It's when Seamus finally confesses his feelings and vice versa.**

 **This chapter takes place during Sixth year but after Dean had broken up with Ginny.**

 **Sorry for the short chapter but as they say short and sweet is a good thing, trust me I wish it was longer too.**

 **Writers Note- I don't have personal experience with kissing and have never written a kissing scene before so it might be a little rough, my sincere apologies.**

 **Still looking for that Beta Reader**

 **I own nothing in the Potter franchise.**

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"You what?" Dean exclaimed jumping up off the sofa sending his partially done Potions homework off his lap and into the Common area floor.

"Oi…. Love **…** Yer, Dean Thomas" Seamus stammered his ears turning pink from embarrassment, this was not how it was supposed to go, he hadn't meant to express his adoration for his best friend in the middle of the Gryffindor common room but damn that boy made him feel downright giddy.

The truth was Seamus had had enough of waiting, it took three years and the idea of losing Dean to Ginny for him he to decide it was time to admit his feelings for the tall boy. Seamus had nearly come clean after Ginny had dumped Dean but decided against it after he saw how hard Dean had taken the rejection, so he waited until Dean sorted through his emotions. Finally, after three weeks of painfully waiting for the right moment Seamus decided it was time, but instead of taking Dean upstairs safe from prying eyes Dean opted for staying downstairs claiming that he needed to finish his Potions homework before even thinking about going to bed. That was the final straw and without even thinking of the consequences Seamus blurted out the words he regretted as soon as they were out of his mouth.

"Shay…. I don't know what to say" Dean murmured, firelight danced mischievously in his warm brown eyes as he took a step toward the small Irishman whose pale blue eyes searched desperately for some kind of clue to how he felt.

Seamus nibbled his lip nervously as the dark-skinned wizard stood stoically in front of him, the tension was deafening. _This was a bad idea, why couldn't I just keep my damn mouth shut_ Seamus thought angrily.

Suddenly a voice broke the silence "Merlin's beard, Dean are you waiting for an invitation, Just kiss him already!" Parvati exclaimed gleefully from the cushy chair she was occupying by the fire.

The tension melted and Dean blushed deeply, giving Parvati a final grinning glare he advanced letting his lips meet Seamus's in a fit of passion. Dean felt Seamus's body tense for a second before he melted under his touch kissing him hungrily as he pulled the shorter boy close.

Seamus was awestruck as he pulled away breathlessly, his hand still plastered to Dean's warm chest, he was secretly glad the kiss had happened here rather than upstairs where the deadening quiet would make any attempt to discuss it awkward and forced. Down here though with the crackling of the fire and the low lamp light it felt right and necessary, Seamus was even glad that Parvati had run interference although he wished she had been a little bit more discreet about it as he glanced around the room at the multiple people now watching the two boys.

"Dean, Oi hope dis means Yer feel de same way" Seamus laughed his pale blue eyes sparkling as he met the warm brown gaze of his best friend

Dean rolled his eyes grinning as he took the blonde haired boy's hand in his own "Seamus I love you, now and I always will" Dean whispered going in for another kiss.

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 **Comments, reviews, and concerns are welcomed.**


	5. Nightmares

**Song Suggestion- Follow my voice- By Julie Byrne**

 **Still looking for a Beta-Reader**

 **Hope you liked the fluff now back to the present (present being like November 1998).**

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"Seamus…..Seamus…Sea wake up!" Seamus bolted upright drenched in sweat; his heart pounding as the screams faded from his ears. "Easy, easy, it's over, you're okay, I've got you" Luna whispered pulling him close as she gently untangled his sweaty limbs from the mass of blankets.

Fighting back tears Seamus dug his face into Luna's shoulder as flashes of convulsing limbs and sparks of red and green light danced behind his tightly closed eyes. This was Seamus's new normal, whenever he finally gave into sleep he could count on waking up in the arms of a friend or in rare cases, his mother, who could barely look at him nowadays without bursting into tears.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Luna asked her warm hands rubbing Seamus's back as he began to calm down. Seamus knew the only reason Luna, Neville, Hannah and, sometimes even Ginny came to his rescue was because his mother asked them to. In the six months since the battle, he hadn't gone a night without waking up from a nightmare.

Seamus looked up at the Ravenclaw her face was unreadable in the darkened room. "The Carrows... they... they...oh God" Seamus whimpered burying his head in Luna's shoulder once more, the dream still fresh in his mind. Even though it had been months since he had been last tortured by the Carrows the thought of his former 'teachers' still made Seamus tremble like a child.

"Oh Seamus it's alright, they can't hurt you now… I won't let them" Luna whispered softly tightening her grip on the still trembling man aware that the memories from that year were still fresh in the minds of those who endured them.

Finally, after taking a deep breath Seamus pulled away from the wispy blonde haired Ravenclaw "T'anks Luna" Seamus sighed as Luna shifted her weight letting Seamus roll onto his stomach a position that he had always found comfort in. Letting his body relax Seamus tried to drift off to a hopefully dreamless sleep, Luna's hand still rubbing his back just as his mother used to do when he was younger and couldn't sleep.

"It's going to get better Seamus, I promise" Luna whispered but it was too late Seamus was already breathing deeply, fast asleep. Luna tenderly kissed the top of the blond Irishman's head before creeping out of the bedroom and into the dimly lit hallway. Luna stopped in the doorway for a second to watch the rhythmic rise and fall of the restful sleeper. Suddenly a hand shot out of the dark grabbing Luna's arm she gasped and turned around to see Mrs. Finnigan, Luna's heart melted at the sight of the worried mother, she could only imagine the pain the blonde woman felt as she watched her son wear himself out for days before finally collapsing into bed only to wake up screaming a few hours later.

"How's he doin'?" Mrs. Finnigan asked wringing her hands as she glanced into her son's quiet bedroom.

"Better than last time" Luna murmured giving the woman a hug before going downstairs to talk to the others letting Neville sit watch over the young man.

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 **Reviews welcomed**


	6. Unexpected Guest

**Song Suggestion- Amsterdam by Gregory Alan Isakov**

 **Still looking for a Beta-Reader**

 **And guys I hate to be THAT author but please review I need to know if I should continue the story or just stop posting for a while.**

 **This chapter and the one after is mostly from Neville's perspective.**

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It was early one warm spring morning and the purple hue of dawn had just started to cover the clear sky, when Neville heard a faint knocking on his door "Hannah it's a bit early to be coming by don't ya think" Neville laughed glancing at his watch it read 5:30 _,_ shaking his head and still wearing his Mandrake pajamas Neville opened the door to someone who was certainly not Hannah. "Seamus, what are you doing here?" Neville asked surprised by the sudden appearance of his former classmate.

"Yer said if Oi ever needed a place ter stay Oi could alwus crash at your flat" Seamus said plainly his dirty blonde hair looked freshly cut and his clothes looked laundered but Neville could tell the Irishman was still grieving by his glassy blue eyes and how he stood in the doorway a ghost of his former self.

"Of course, come in, does your Mum know you're here?" Neville asked as he brought Seamus into the small flat motioning him to sit at the rickety kitchen table that was almost covered in plants.

Seamus nodded sitting down "yeah she knows, forced me ter clean up, before showin' up at your door said somethin' aboyt hobos" Seamus muttered dreamily before resting his head on the table.

"Sea when was the last time you slept?" Neville inquired noticing for the first time not only the bags under the Irishman's eyes but also how Seamus's whole body seemed worn and seconds from complete shutdown.

"Um…Oi'm not exactly sure" Seamus laughed half-heartedly his whole body ached and spots danced before his eyes as he glanced up at Neville.

"Dammit Seamus, we had a schedule… when was the last time do you think?" Neville asked trying to remain calm but as he stared at the thoroughly exhausted man he only became angrier at not only Seamus but at himself. Neville had always thought that by being the former leader of Dumbledore's Army that it was his unofficial duty to make sure not only Seamus but all of the DA was coping with the aftermath of the Second Wizard War. Neville knew it wasn't his job to make sure Luna was going to therapy and his weekly dinner with the Patil twins was not required of him but he still felt a sense of responsibility for his comrades who braved the Carrows and what followed.

"Well wait a minute, Oi tink de last time Oi really slept was aboyt three weeks ago... yeah three weeks exactly" Seamus sighed his memory of the last couple weeks was murky and he couldn't even remember where he had been before showing up at Neville's.

"Three weeks… why thre... oh the anniversary of course" Neville trailed off as he remembered the first anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts had taken place three weeks prior.

Sighing Neville got to work on an early morning cuppa, putting on the kettle Neville could only watch as the slumped figure gently nudged a nearby flowerpot, "Sea you need to sleep, let me help, I've got some pretty good herbs and…" Neville started walking over to the blond man.

"Oi'm fine Nev, yer don't need ter fix me" Seamus growled flinching as the kettle whistled, his head felt fuzzy and the headache that had started as a slight pain had grown into a pulsing mass.

"Fine, then get the tea and I'll grab the cups" Neville challenged crossing his arms waiting for Seamus to make his move, figuring that either the stubborn Irishman would pass out on the way to grab the kettle to try to prove him wrong or admit defeat and allow Neville to help him to bed.

Seamus gritted his teeth and stood up but the sudden motion caught him off guard and he quickly sat back down the room spinning as he cursed.

"Come on you can stay in the guest room" Neville whispered as he put an arm around his exhausted chum, helping the poor man up the stairs wasn't a challenge "Sea you have been eating right?" Neville asked remembering the countless times before the war when Seamus would jump upon Neville and Dean usually crushing his intended target, now the thought of being crushed by the thin man was far from Neville's mind. The Irishman only shrugged in reply, biting his tongue Neville helped Seamus up the remaining stairs.

Finally reaching the guest room Neville placed Seamus on an old armchair as he moved plants off the many surfaces and pulled back the large quilt that adorned the small bed "Sorry about the mess I'm not used to company" Neville said turning around he sighed Seamus was already curled up in the faded red armchair his eyes closed but Neville knew he was pretending to be blissfully asleep, after nearly 7 years of living with a person it was easy to tell if they were faking or not. "Come on Seamus let's get you changed," Neville said as he disappeared to grab an old t-shirt that once bore the logo, of a Quidditch team, that had long since faded from the tan fabric.

When Neville came back Seamus had his back to the door and was already taking off his shirt, revealing large, ugly, old scars from that hellish seventh year. Neville flinched although he too had a few scars from that year they had already started to fade. "Here I think this should be big enough" Neville said as Seamus turned around, tossing Seamus the large tee Neville's heart dropped as he caught sight of the long ragged pink scar on Seamus's abdomen, _it's my fault he has that one_ Neville thought bitterly, shuddering at the memory of that horrid night in the dungeon.

"T'anks Nev…. For everythin' " Seamus murmured tiredly as he put on the shirt which reached well past his knees.

Neville only nodded and left the weary man to finish undressing and get to bed, the image of the scar still seared into his brain.


	7. Torture

**Song Suggestion- Medicine by Daughter**

 **This is a memory from the past during Neville's seventh year at Hogwarts, and as such Seamus will sometimes be called Shay.**

 **This takes place a couple of months before the battle and before Ginny left.**

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Neville sighed as he laid in bed tossing and turning unable to sleep, Seamus's scar still in the back of his mind, just the sight of it brought back unpleasant memories of his final year at Hogwarts. Closing his eyes once more Neville fell into a restless sleep.

Neville woke up with a start sitting up he stared at the red curtains surrounding his bed _when did I get curtains?_ Neville wondered as he touched the silky fabric "Hogwarts, of course" he breathed feeling a slight pain his eyes wandered to the deep gash on his arm _oh no not this one of all the memories in my head, not this one_ Neville thought anxiously knowing that it was going to be a rough night. Neville knew how this memory ended and even though he wanted to wake up before he had to relive the horror of that night he allowed the dream to overtake him.

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Neville winced detention had been brutal that night, staring at the cut on his arm he glanced over to Dean's bed where Seamus spent most of his nights but to Neville's surprise it was empty turning his attention to Seamus's own deserted bed Neville began to worry _where is that boy, he should have been back by now._ Neville thought, getting out of bed, glancing at his watch he cursed, it was already two in the morning and even for Seamus who was notorious for taking a long time to get back from detention two o'clock was abnormal.

Even before he opened the painting of the Fat Lady, Neville was on edge glancing around every couple seconds for a potential threat. The castle that had once been his home, his safe haven for so many years had changed into something to fear, a place where an enemy hid behind every corner. Walking along the quiet dark halls he first went to the empty Defense against the Dark Arts classroom, looking around Neville took a deep breath, _Seamus_ , _where are you,_ Neville wondered trying to think of where the Carrows might have taken him.

"Neville what are you doing in here?" a voice asked Neville cursed and whipped around wand drawn. "Hey, there's no need to use wands you're not going to get attacked" Ginny Weasley murmured a playful smile danced on her lips as she held up her wand the pale blue light made her eyes dance although Neville could also see worry reflected in them.

Neville took a deep breath but allowed a faint smile remembering how Dolores Umbridge the former Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher had used that same phrase just a few years earlier before all hell had broken loose. "I was looking for Seamus; he never came back from detention," Neville explained knowing they were pressed for time.

Ginny's eyes grew wide her face turning pale "Nev I thought you knew… He did it again… he tried to fight back after you left so they…. They moved him to the dungeon" Ginny stammered.

Neville's heart dropped the few times students had been taken down there they came out bloody and broken never fully healing from the experience they all denied having. "Oh Shay, what were you thinking" he whispered thinking about how Seamus used to joke about being invincible and how he wasn't scared of no bloody dungeon.

"Come on Neville we're losing time" Ginny whispered urgently already making her way out of the dark classroom leaving Neville alone with a pit in his stomach.

It took longer to get to the dungeons than Neville thought, taking necessary precautions to avoid Filch and Mrs. Norris but they finally made it to the stairway that led to the dungeons. Making their way quietly down the stairs they spotted the old wooden door marking the entrance to the dungeons. Allowing Ginny to take the lead Neville stood behind the young Weasley listening for any sound that could signal a potential threat, finally finding the right spell Ginny unlocked the door. Creeping past the multiple cells they finally found what they were looking for, a small figure with messy blond hair laying against a stone wall his hands were shackled above him "Shay thank God" Neville hissed as he swung open the iron gate and ran to the Irishman, kneeling over the poor boy Neville noticed several shallow bloody cuts to his arms and legs but he seemed to be alive "Shay we're going to get you out of here, it's going to be okay" Neville murmured shaking the boy gently until pale blue eyes stared up at him

"Me hero" Seamus mumbled weakly as he feebly pulled against the iron shackles, his lip was swollen and split and his back ached from the multiple whiplashes that now marred his back.

"Nev you take care of the cuffs I'll stand watch." Ginny hissed standing by the iron door her wand out, trained at the door.

"Shay stay with me now okay and tell me what happened" Neville whispered gently as the Irishman's head listed to one side. Neville shook his head although he would rather Seamus stay conscious he knew it was better just to unchain the poor boy than to get caught trying to keep him awake. Using his wand Neville unlocked both wrists and gently pulled Seamus off the stone cold floor "Gin a little help over here" Neville hissed his knees buckling under the added dead weight.

Ginny raced over to help but at that moment a deep laugh echoed throughout the chamber "Look at what we have here, two little students coming to save their little friend, how heroic" Alecto Carrow cackled as she and her brother stepped into view.

Neville growled, passing Seamus to Ginny he stepped forward shielding his fellow Gryffindors from the so-called 'professors' "Out of the way" he hissed drawing his wand determined to get Seamus the medical help he obviously needed.

"Look at this one so brave for one so young" Alecto chuckled taking a step toward the three students her brother laughed."

"If only his wand work matched that courage huh Al" Amycus Carrow spat a dark smile forming at his lips.

"Take one step closer and I'll end both of you" Neville shouted watching the two Carrows with wide eyes knowing he couldn't possibly handle both Death Eaters at the same time but damn it he had to try for Seamus's sake.

Then a scream pierced the cold air as Neville felt someone knock him to the ground rolling over just in time to see a flash of green light shoot through the air then a thump echoed throughout the chamber as a body hit the ground "Stupify, Stupify" Ginny yelled. Forcing himself up Neville spotted the two Death Eaters lying passed out on the stone floor.

"Thanks Ginny" Neville exclaimed breathlessly turning around his heart stopped, lying on the ground, in a pool of blood, where Neville had been standing moments before was Seamus. Rushing to his friend's side Neville looked for the wound his heart dropped at the sight of the scarlet liquid seeping through the Irishman's robes "Shay, wake up come on mate" Neville whispered to the pale boy as he tore away the blood-soaked fabric revealing a long ragged gash on his abdomen.

"Nev we have to move, we have no time," Ginny said panic seeping into every word as she eyed the two Death Eaters who were already starting to recover from being stunned.

Neville nodded and gingerly lifted the boy bleeding out at his feet, cradling the small Irishman Neville was aware of the warm red liquid seeping into his clothes as they made their way out of the dungeons and up toward the Hospital Wing.

"Shay stay with me, we're nearly there" Neville whispered a low moan answered his desperate plea _This was my fault, he took that spell for me_ Neville thought as Ginny banged on the Hospital Wing door yelling and cursing as she looked over her shoulder at the two boys as blood dripped onto the stone floor.

Finally, a familiar yet annoyed face opened the door "What in Merlin's beard is going on why are…. Oh my, what happened" Madam Pomfrey shouted ushering the exhausted youths into the deserted wing "Put him down right here" Madam Pomfrey commanded watching as Neville laid the bloody blond boy on a nearby cot.

"It was the Carrows I'm not sure which spell but…" Ginny trailed off tears running down her cheeks as she watched the pale boy his breathing was ragged and desperate.

"Don't worry dears I will handle this you can wait in my office, it's too late for you to be wandering the halls, but lock the door behind you, wouldn't want any unwelcomed guests barging in now would we." Madame Pomfrey said softly noting how pale and scared the two seventh years were. Turning away from the youths Madam Pomfrey got to work.

Neville only nodded as he stared at the small boy, only moving when Ginny guided him to the nurse's cramped office. Sitting on one of the uncomfortable chairs Neville broke down burying his face in his hands he felt Ginny put her hand on his shoulder "Gin what are we gonna do what if…. What if we lose him?"

"Nev I don't know, but he should be fine he's in good hands," Ginny said softly biting her lip to keep the tears at bay "Nev, you should probably rest it's been a long day and I doubt we're going to be leaving here anytime soon" she cooed.

Neville sighed "Alright but wake me if anything happens" he murmured following the red-haired girl to a spot on the floor sitting down against a wall Neville crossed his arms trying to calm down after the events of that night, it wasn't until Ginny forced him to lie his head on her lap did the adrenaline coursing through his veins leave his body, and he relaxed letting himself fall asleep.

* * *

Neville woke up with sunlight streaming through his Flat window sighing wearily he got out of bed the dream had thoroughly exhausted him, walking barefoot down the cold hallway Neville opened the guest bedroom door. Seamus was lying face down the quilt had been kicked off in the night shaking his head Neville padded over to the sleeping man and placed the quilt over his wiry frame. "Thank you for saving my life that night" Neville whispered before going downstairs to prepare for the day.

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 **Please review**


	8. Waking Up

**Song Suggestion- La Lune by Billie Marten**

 **Sorry that this chapter is so short**

 **This takes place about a day after Neville's nightmare**

 **Reviews appreciated**

 **Still looking for a Beta-Reader, if you are interested please message me.**

* * *

Seamus opened his eyes slowly as the weak morning June sunlight streamed in from the window bathing the beige colored walls in light shadows.

Blinking the sleep from his eyes Seamus smiled although he wasn't sure where he was Seamus had no intention of leaving anytime soon. The heavy quilt was soft against his skin and it was quiet, finally quiet. After almost 3 weeks of being on the run, and trying to stay awake he welcomed the peaceful silence.

Rolling over to face the window Seamus winced the pain in his shoulder was still there even though it had been days since the incident occurred. While it was unclear how he injured it during his days on the run; the only thing Seamus knew was that it hurt, a lot.

Sighing Seamus sat up, slowly rubbing the aching limb when he suddenly remembered where he was "Neville's av course" he breathed looking around at the many plants that surrounded his bedside. Easing himself back onto the comfortable mattress Seamus let out a small sigh his aching body melted into the soft mattress and the cool pillow. Letting his eyes close once more Seamus let sleep overtake him feeling safe for the first time in almost a year.


	9. Breakfast at Neville's

**Song Suggestion- Rewind By Goldspot**

 **Sorry that this chapter is so short**

 **This takes place a couple days after the last chapter**

 **Reviews appreciated**

 **Still looking for a Beta-Reader, if you are interested please message me.**

* * *

Neville watched happily as Seamus scarfed down his breakfast. Although it was only the second time Seamus had felt strong enough to leave the guest room since he had shown up at Neville's place, Neville was pleased to see his appetite had vastly improved.

"Easy tiger" Neville laughed as Seamus choked on a grisly piece of bacon Seamus rolled his eyes and continued to clean off his second helping of bacon and eggs "Man and I thought Hannah's manners were bad" Neville chuckled

Seamus laughed as he leaned back in his chair emitting a loud belch he patted his stomach "T'anks for breakfast Nev Oi haven't felt dis full since…" Seamus paused and his eyes glazed over as he tried to think back to memories that weren't there. After a few moments Seamus shook his head "Anyway thanks again" he murmured getting up suddenly as he started to collect the dirty dishes.

After grabbing the remaining plates Seamus made his way over to the sink "Where is de future Mrs. Longbottom anyway Oi thought for sure I'd see 'er by now, or were yer lyin' when yer said de two av yer were datin'." Seamus joked putting the dirty dishes in the sink.

"Well she thought it would be better if she just hung low for a bit, I mean it wasn't like you were taking visitors while you were passed out upstairs," Neville commented as he got up from the table to check on his plants

Seamus watched as Neville stroked the dark leaves of some unidentifiable plant, leaning against the stove Seamus winced and gave his aching shoulder a rub. It had gotten worse in the few days since he arrived but he couldn't bear to think about ruining what had become his paradise by being a drama queen about a sore shoulder.


	10. Cleaning Up

**Song Suggestion-Threnody by Goldmund**

 **Sorry that this chapter is so short**

 **Takes place a couple days after the last chapter**

 **Reviews are appreciated**

 **I plan on posting the next few chapters soon.**

* * *

The quiet morning was interrupted by fervent whimpers and the kicking of sheets "Sea just take it easy, easy I got you, your fine just let me take a look" Neville whispered forcefully as he pressed the feverish man back into the mountain of pillows afraid that the struggling would only make things worse.

It had taken two days for Seamus to admit that he was hurt and in those two days a lot had changed Seamus's skin had turned ghost white and hot to the touch, and he had lost whatever weight he had gained since arriving at Neville's doorstep. Taking a deep breath Neville lifted Seamus's shirt over his head much to the Irishman's weak protest, although he was only able to mutter a string of curses before collapsing exhausted from the effort. Sighing Neville began to check over his hurt friend.

Although their final year at Hogwarts had been hell on earth, it was also the year Neville had learned about medicinal herbs and the art of healing. Silently thanking Madam Pomfrey, Neville finally built up the courage to take a look at the injury. It was obvious even to a novice healer such as himself where the problem was, Seamus's right shoulder had turned a sickly color and there was a long incision that went from the shoulder down to his underarm, which was obviously infected. Sighing Neville gave the wound a gentle prod causing pus to seep from the wound. The sudden touch sent the formerly quiet patient into a fit of whimpers his pale blue eyes tightly shut.

"Sorry Sea, but this will only take a second I promise" Neville murmured gently as he turned his attention to a big leather book of herbs, flipping through the countless pages trying to find a combination that could be helpful. After leafing through the heavy index Neville eventually found a suitable remedy.

Cleaning the wound took longer than Neville had expected, although it mostly consisted of calming down his patient who whimpered and struggled whenever he touched the angry, pus-filled mass. Finally, the wound was clean, treated and wrapped in gauze, sighing in relief Neville placed a cool washcloth on the sleeping Irishman's head before leaving the room to let the man get some well-deserved rest.


End file.
